Gender Confusion
by SilverCyanide
Summary: AN: I won't remove this, because I don't believe in fic removal, but this is poorly written and full of cis-privilege/insensitivity toward gender differences. It also misuses sex vs. gender. I apologize. Approach with caution. /There's a new rule all of the boys teams must have girls. So why didn't Hyotei have to add anybody?


Disclaimer: Yeah, I own them. Which is why Rikkai isn't the main team, Akaya isn't the Prince of Tennis, he's not together with Mura.

Warning: Yeah...I see some major spoilers for the Hyotei matches and stuff. You probably won't get it if you haven't seen that part because there are references to Taka and Kabaji's match. Oh...and kinda yaoi. But not really. You'll see...

A/N: Okay, this idea came to me after seeing a very girly picture of a certain Hyotei regular. You'll figure it out easy. I think. Anyways, here's a little drabble thingy for you. If you're waiting for _Zutto_ I can promise you that the third chapter will be up soon. I'm almost done with the hand-written version so then I just have to type and send to my beta. So if it doesn't get up fast it's all Laura's fault. Also, I'm currently working on a sadish InuiKai drabble thing and I got a great idea for a crack story while taking a shower so that might show up sometime in the near future. Got a three day weekend and exams start next week - but they're not very hard and you don't have to study or anything so it's basically a free week. :)

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It was a beautiful summer day, not a cloud in the sky, a slight breeze – the perfect tennis weather. But Seigaku was NOT happy. There was a new rule that all of Japan's teams had to have a member of the opposite gender and they had decided that ALL of the matches had to be re-played to "make things fair". So far all of the matches they had re-played were won with relative ease (all they had to do was avoid putting their girl, Sakuno (all others were too distracted by how hot Tezuka is to play) in), but today they were facing one of the teams they had difficulty defeating – Hyotei. Even though they had improved a lot since they had last played, so had Hyotei, so registration that day was very depressing. 

Taking their places on the side of the bleachers, Seigaku waited for matches to begin. To make things simpler they had decided on the same line-up as last time, except Taka and Kabaji were going to be replaced by Ryoma and Hiyoshi incase their match repeated itself.

Right when Doubles 2 was going to start the referee decided that he needed to replace the net, so Seigaku had time to notice that Kabaji was Hyotei's only reserve player and that there didn't seem to be a girl on their team. So they, being curious (and stupid), headed over to ask Hyotei where their girl was (the ref had decided that the new net needed to be replaced as well).

Making their way through the swarm of Hyotei fans they were greeted by the Hyotei regulars themselves. Normal people would have dropped to their knees and kissed their feet, but the Seigaku regulars were anything but normal, so they just stared.

"I thought be agreed to place out girls in reserve," said Tezuka.

Atobe just smirked. "We did."

"I also thought we agreed to keep the line-up the same."

Atobe's smirk grew, "I did. If I was to place her in reserve the Doubles 2 wouldn't be the same." All of the Hyotei regulars smirked at this (even Choutarou…well as much of a smirk as you could get out of him).

Meanwhile, Eiji was looking them over. They _looked_ the same, but something was different.

"We agreed to keep the doubles pairs the same."

"Indeed we did," said Atobe in a very amused voice. "Which is exactly why I couldn't take her out of Doubles 2 – it would differ the pairings if I did."

At this point Eiji, who had taken to studying his "rival", noticed the…slight…bulges from Gakuto's chest area. He heard what Atobe had said about the line-up not being changed though their girl was in Doubles 2. And, putting two and two together, Eiji came up with four.

"Oh! Ohhhhhh…" Eiji trailed off as everything became clear to him, while also turning a shade of red that could be turned into a new type of crayon. He then attempted to drag everybody back to their set of bleachers before the ref realized that he didn't need to change the net four times.

And then, suddenly, Oshitari popped up behind Gakuto and put a hand on the older regulars' shoulder, before leaning down and kissing Gakuto deeply.

"Che, more gay tennis players," came Ryoma, which made all of Hyotei start laughing.

"Oshitari? Gay? He's the straightest tennis player I know!" yelled Shishido, followed by "If Oshitari were gay Ore-sama would have seduced him first."

Oshitari and Gakuto broke away from what now seemed to be face eating for a minute to smirk before Gakuto spoke.

"If Yuushi was gay, then why would he be dating me?" Gakuto questioned before the two continued to snog.

By then, half of the Seigaku Regulars were and unheard of shade of red and the other half, which was totally clueless, were being dragged back to their set of bleachers. (A/N: That sounds weird...)

And this time the outcome of the Oshitari-Mukahi vs. Kikumaru-Momoshiro match was 6-0, Oshitari-Mukahi pair winning because Eiji was too distracted and embarrassed to even move, let alone play tennis.

OMAKE 1

After the match, Gakuto emerged from the locker room, water balloons in hand.

"You were right, Yuushi, these things really word," he said smirking as he pulled his lover down for a kiss.

OMAKE 2

That night the couple celebrated their victory with drinking, dancing, and duct tape.

Three months later Gakuto disappeared and then showed up again 6 ½ months later saying that there had been "family business" to attend to, while Oshitari went around bragging that he was now the father of two adorable, purple-haired twin girls.

**OWARI**

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A/N: There you have it! I honestly couldn't resist this. I mean...he's so...short and girl looking! Second oldest Hyotei regular (Jiroh is the oldest!) and he's so...little! Love him to death those. Oh, and did you know he's left-handed? Left-handed people rule! Cuz we have our own day - August 13th is National left-handers day! w00t! 

Please review! They feed my soul! And I write more when I'm in a good mood and reviews make me happy. XD


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